Merry Cyst-Mas!

Had my 2nd ultrasound this morning. The technician was far more chatty this time - and she didn't stop chatting...a damn good sign in my eyes. I opened the report a couple of hours ago, hoping for the best but expecting the worse. Well...

The cyst is GONE.

Words can't describe how I feel right now. I'll try anyway though LOL.

It seems complex ovarian cysts CAN and DO go away! This means no surgery, no more invasive testing (I hope?!) and the knowledge that there is no longer anything to fear or worry about. A load has been lifted.

The last 6 weeks have been a nightmare. Literally, there have been many nightmares which not only distressed me but also my husband who had to wake me up who knows how many times. I don't think I've had a decent nights sleep since all of this started. The physical side of things wasn't pretty...I'm still recovering physically as the bloating is still there, however now I know that I can exercise again, that will soon be taken care of.

The pain hasn't been anywhere near as bad in the last week, it was only a few days ago that I thought maybe the cyst was shrinking as apart from a few twinges here and there (and a fainting spell on the weekend), I've been feeling almost normal again. I must of been right as not only has the damn thing shrunk, it's gone! Both ovaries are normal in appearance and everything else is normal too. "Relieved" doesn't even begin to cover it. Like myself, my mother is over the moon.

I found this news out only a couple of hours ago and since then, I've done a 45 minute workout and belted out all my favourite tunes! It is so unbelievably good to be able to get on my bike again :) Cycling has become such a huge part of my life - not just for weight loss but for my mental health. It's like my own fool-proof, always reliable anti-depressant because it never fails to make me feel good. Not being able to exercise over the last 6 weeks has only added to the already very anxious, frightening time I've lived through. I have not, and will not waste any time in getting back to my life.

We still don't know what the cyst was (other than it was complex being both fluid filled and solid) - or what caused it. Right now though, I have to admit I really don't care. Right now, I feel great. Right now, I can live in the moment happily without worrying what's happening to me or what will happen in the future. I didn't expect this, my mother didn't expect this and I don't even think my doctor expected this. I'm pleased to say I know how lucky I am and that this has been a huge wake up call.

In the last few years I've overcome so many problems only to be faced with more. Being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (if you think it's hard to spell or say, try living with it) - having amazing friends who've faced  Cancer & serious car accidents...adapting to life as new mum, adapting to massive changes in my daughters life. Then to have the scary possibility of possible Ovarian Cancer thrown in (like I said in my last post, cancer is huge in my family) - it's safe to say things have been pretty crazy over the last few years. The thing is though that we're all still here, we're all still alive and we're all still living our lives, facing one challenge at a time.

The amount of love and support from my family, close friends (here and abroad) and friends I've never even met before has been nothing short of amazing. As horrible as the last 6 weeks have been, they've also taught me a huge lesson about myself and about others. I've learned I've got more patience than I realised, I've learned to let go because sometimes there's just no other choice, I've learned to keep my faith no matter what (right now, it's stronger than ever) and most importantly, I've learned not to take anything for granted. The mere possibility of not being around to see my children grow up or hold my husbands hand when we're old has been enough to open my eyes to what a beautiful world I really do live in.

I'm not scared any more - because even when it felt like my world was about to crumble, I had the most beautiful people on the planet ready to build it up again. There is now certainty when there was none before. Simply put, a scare like this is what I needed to realise that there is nothing to be afraid of, living my life the way I want to is not something I need to fear - it's something I need to embrace and be grateful for.

And I am.

Edit & Update: For those wondering, we now know what the cyst was. It was a benign complex ovarian cyst, most likely filled with something called sebaceous oil (the oil is what they referred to as the solid/dense material). It explains not only all of the pain and bloating - but the absolutely disgusting cystic pimples I've been getting on my chin. I've been told all of this will settle down over the next month or so while my hormones go back to normal. Really hoping that I can get most of these pesky zits off my face before Christmas....but hey, LOL, even if I don't....a few pimples is a lot better than cancer :) All other tests were fine except for a couple of small things - nothing is seriously wrong. WOO-HOO!!