Monday, February 27, 2012

Goodbyes, New Beginnings & Everything in between!

What an incredible couple of months it has been! So many tears, so many smiles...and so many changes!

Goodbye's. 


11/02/2012 - The day Whitney Houston died. We lost the King of pop on the 26th day of June in 2009 and tragically it wasn't long at all before the Queen of pop joined him. In between these devastating deaths we obviously lost Amy Winehouse as well back in July last year. 

Whitney has always been a favourite musician of mine (one of the reasons I named my now deceased cat Whitney back in 2008). Like many other tots in the 80s, I'd often dance around to her tunes on MTV or Video Hits. My workout play lists often contain tunes like "I'm every woman", "Step by Step" and "It's not right but it's OK" - and they still do, but now listening to those tunes usually result in a couple of tears mid work out which they didn't before. 


It is just so very sad. Houston, Jackson and Winehouse were all original artists...there was nothing manufactured or auto-tuned about them. They wrote their own music, sung their own music and in some cases even produced their own music. To lose three idols in the space of less than three years seems to show one thing - LEGAL DRUGS are just as dangerous (if not more) than drugs that are pointlessly, immorally and ironically illegal. I'm not going to turn this post into a Pro Cannabis entry but I feel it's quite a poignant & valid point to make given the circumstances. Sure, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston admitted to using illegal substances throughout their lives, however let's just remember what actually killed them in the end, shall we. 

May Whitney Houston rest in peace and be the angel in Heaven that she was here on Earth ♥.

______________________________________________


14/02/2012 - The day little Emilia left the world after just 4 days of life. On this day, Valentines Day, most people were giving their partners cards or messages with love hearts, or boxes shaped like love hearts full of chocolates - for many of us, this wasn't the case. Our hearts were breaking.

My friend gave birth to her darling little girl at 32 weeks - she was born with Hydrops and a form of Congenital Heart Defect. Such a perfect little girl - dark beautiful hair, big bright eyes and a little rose bud mouth. Even with all the tubes and machines, you could still see what an enchanting, beautiful little girl she really was.

On the 10th February, over 250 of us banded together through Facebook to organise whatever support (financial, practical, emotional) we could for my friend and her family. The group I created resulted in over 250 people from around Australia sharing prayers, money, presents, vouchers, services, trades - you name it. I also organised a Candle Lighting Ceremony on the night of the 11th February - over 100 people around Australia took part and I will always treasure my photo album containing over 100 photos of  lit candles, many with original prayers, messages and poems, all for little Emi.

During her 4 days of life, Emilia showed hundreds of us what love could do. She showed us all what was really important. While our hearts broke for such an angel and her amazing family (particularly her amazing mummy), our hearts also lit up at the sight of nothing but pure kindness. The human race can be a pretty confusing one at times, but for those 4 days, the human race in my eyes was a wonderful, beautiful thing. This precious little angel reminded us all that every single day counts, she also reminded us to take nothing for granted.

Emilia, you were given wings at 4 days old to fly with the other baby angels. Each and every person who knows you (and even those who simply know of you) is a better person for it. Only true angels can say that. R.I.P sweet baby girl ♥.



New Beginnings.


Owen - Well, in a few short days I'll be able to say my little boy is two years old! I am amazed at how quickly the last two years have passed. The time has just flown by and it's amazing to see how much Owen has grown and changed in such a short time.

He had his very first hair cut the other day (he hated every minute of it of course) and looks even more handsome now. Luckily, he seems to have kept his curls! We still have a couple of weeks to go before we have his hearing tested and then we'll be able to get the ball rolling as to getting him the help he (and we) need.

The sensory issues are much the same, however he is becoming more confident with things like finger paint and water. He is also becoming more socially confident at Daycare but this will be a very slow process, we've always been aware of that. At the moment we've gone two steps backwards with food but at least he's still eating. Looking forward to having more answers once we've seen the appropriate doctors and therapists.

I am looking forward to sending a birthday cake and party hats along to Daycare with him, his carers have assured me they'll be taking lots of photos. We'll be having a small party for him next weekend at my parents place where he'll be spoiled rotten with too many presents and too much cake I imagine :-)

Business - It's official. I finally did it. I am now the owner/manager of my own home business. Website and email went live last week. I just got all positive feedback for my first order (3 batches of fudge for a large workplace morning tea) and my labels arrived this morning. Still waiting on business cards and need to buy several items over the next few weeks but it's all under way and going well.

It feels good to have something that's just for me. I will have to go back to work at some stage this year but until then, I am absolutely content with the work I'm doing for myself. I have always wanted to do something like this and I don't mind admitting that I am very proud of myself for having the guts to. I used to be someone who wouldn't even try new things due to the fear of failing - that person is long gone. Failing doesn't scare me. I'd rather fail than never try - in saying that though, this business is already a success in my eyes and it will just keep getting better.

Everything In Between. 

Health - I am pretty much half way to my goal weight now and feeling great! I have learnt that I am much stronger (physically) than I knew I was. Some days I am managing up to 2.5 hours exercise, I am also improving with my weights and I'm finding I can dance longer these days as well. The lighter I get, the more energetic I seem to be. I am enjoying giving myself new goals and loving being able to achieve them!

I'm also finding there are just so many options with delicious healthy food. I remember when I would binge eat and buy nothing but crap food this time last year, it would all look the same. I mean take this for an example, when I  didn't care about myself and was eating unhealthy food...here is what a day would look like:

Breakfast - None. Coffee.

Lunch - Plate of potato wedges with or without sauce.

Afternoon - Chocolate or Oreos.

Dinner - Usually contained mince...chilli con carne and rice, or wedges for example. Maybe Bolognaise.

Dessert - Chocolate or Oreos.

Notice what all of that "food" has in common? I never noticed it at the time but I do now. Everything I was eating was brown. Notice how so many foods that are just no good for you are brown, or beige, or white?

No wonder I feel better these days. Everything I eat is colourful, and looks interesting, and looks appealing and doesn't result in feeling....well....bland! Sure, those 'brown' bland foods make a nice treat in moderation now and then, but as a diet? Never again. I can't  imagine what my insides looked like when I was eating that badly. Some days I would eat up to two blocks of chocolate and/or two packets of Oreos. Scary.

It feels good knowing that I've been making decent changes and more aware of things like this for the best part of a year now. It's honestly only in hindsight that I see how serious and dangerous my diet really was. I hated feeling fat and flat all of the time - I would not wish it on anybody. I'm also content in the knowledge that this is a lifestyle change and that I need to lose this weight at a somewhat slower rate than I would lose weight on a 'diet'. I've been Anorexic & Obese & everything in between :-) I know what's realistic, fad and logical. Each to their own, but any sort of diets or strict eating plans just aren't to my liking. They also result in gaining every kilo and then some back and I'm too old to be stuffing around with that sort of nonsense.  Feels good to say that too :-)

Also glad to report that I've only had one flare up of  Fibro this year and it luckily, it only lasted a couple of days. Apart from that, had a sinus/chest infection at the start of this month. Still got the cough (getting better) and a bit of a runny nose sometimes but it'll pass. Always does. On top of that, it looks like I have PCOS but since I'm not willing to even consider any of the treatments (most are hormone related), I can't say I care too much. Nor am I surprised.

That pretty much covers everything...told you it'd been an incredible couple of months!

Until next time,
Em xo.








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