Around 2 weeks ago, our lives started to change. It's been one thing after the next lately and everything reached it's climax last Friday - I say this because things always seem to happen in 3's for us, and I really hope that is right for our sake :)
1. The home we rent (and love) has been for sale since November 2010. There has been zero interest in it, well, until a couple of weeks ago when the owner dropped his asking price by 30k. A couple are going to buy this home, their finance should be approved by the end of this week...I half expect to get our 30 days notice to leave on Friday (my birthday) as that would just be the cherry on top of everything hehe. I won't go on and on about how we love it here, and how Owen will absolutely go into sensory meltdown at the prospect of calling another place home and how very difficult it's even going to be finding a suitable place in such a short amount of time. What I will say though is that renting really is a trap - and if there is any way to avoid it, I suggest that you do.
2. We took Owen to hospital on Thursday for his final lot of hearing tests. As explained previously, he 'failed' the previous two tests. My belief was that he simply wouldn't (and didn't) tolerate the testing and therefore inaccurate results were recorded. Both audiologists agreed this was possible and that Owen would need final testing under sedation...which happened on Thursday. Long story short, he's partially deaf. We're waiting on an urgent referral to an ENT for treatment options. I am currently self-learning Sign Language. I know everything was explained to us but naturally, a lot of it went in one ear and out the other (pardon the pun). I guess this is why they send the detailed reports out to us!
3. My husband was made casual from full-time on Friday due to having a "bad attitude" at work lately. I have informed them they can't actually do that without the proper notice but have not heard back. Either way, "casual employment" on a rental tenancy application doesn't look good - so our future right now is more uncertain than it's ever been. Nice way for them to treat an employee who's been with them for the best part of 3 years...I have to say I'd possibly have a bad attitude if my world was turned upside down as well and would understand a warning and "not to bring problems to work" - but I wouldn't expect to effectively be fired like this (my feeling is this is the beginning of the end of his employment there).
The way I see it, I have 2 choices. I can crumble under the pressure, break down, sink into a deep depression and give up on life entirely with a "woe is me, life is so unfair" attitude or I can take each day (and problem) at a time and find the solutions as quickly, and as calmly as possible - with or without asking for help if I need it. I choose the latter option.
Right now, my son is at the forefront of my mind. Everything else has (naturally) taken a back seat for a while. We are nowhere near the end of our journey yet - we have to make some decisions about the next steps in order to communicate better with him and he also needs to be assessed many other medical professionals regarding other health concerns. However, once we know how to communicate with him more effectively - EVERYTHING else will be downhill from there :) I've felt closer to him in the last 4 days than I have in months, simply because I know why he struggles the way he does and why he doesn't talk or do other things kids his age do. I didn't know it was possible to love him more than I already did, but I do and I can now see that for a darling little boy who doesn't have the basic sensory security (aka hearing) that other children do - he is actually doing very, very well for his age...and I just couldn't be more proud of him. Or me, because this is not my fault - none of it, and I know that now. His hearing was fine at birth :) This is a hearing loss, he wasn't born partially deaf. We may never have a definitive answer as to why this happened.
This is news for us (ie his mummy, daddy, aunty, cousins, sister, grandparents, carers, friends etc) - this is nothing new for Owen. Nothing has changed for him, he's still the happy, bubbly, wonderful little man he was a week ago, a year ago. In fact no, somehow he's even more wonderful now in my eyes :) He's beautiful in every sense of the word and has taught me at the tiny age of 2 years old that I need to stop taking so many things (that we all call basic) for granted. He has also taught me exactly what I am capable of - I filled a massive work order from the time I found out about his hearing non stop until Saturday night. I put a smile on my face and went to inspect homes right after this news. I listened to my friends and tried to help a couple of them going through a hard time. I stood up to my husband's employers. I made sure my daughter had the funnest 10th birthday celebrations with us as possible. And I've thrown myself right into learning sign language and getting in touch with as many infant/child hearing loss organisations as possible because my son will have the same opportunities as every other child. Make no mistake about it. I will do everything in my power to ensure this and nothing will stop me.
Here is a poem I wrote for my lovely Owen.
Until next time,
Em xo.
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